Realization | Time

Since I started my new job, time has just flown by! I get up, go to work, go home, fall onto the couch and attempt to gather enough energy together to make dinner. 

Make dinner, eat dinner, clear the table, cuddle the dog, kiss my husband, and then I'm dead. I sit on the couch and watch some tv, and I'm just so tired. And then I go to sleep. 

I don't really read anymore. I don't crochet, I don't bake, I don't draw. 

I hardly ever listen to music anymore. 

It's draining.

Don't get me wrong - I really do like my new job, but this lack of energy is tough. I realize it'll get better as I get accustomed to working like this, but right now it's just-.. well, tiring.

And I miss studying. I miss being out of work. 

I miss having the time and energy to be spontaneous. I'm a spontaneous person - it's a part of who I am, but it requires some energy. Energy that I don't have right now. And I kind of miss myself. 

I realize now how privileged I was before. How much time I really had on my hands! And how much of that time I wasted on the couch, watching lousy tv shows. 

When I go back to studying I will most likely still spend too much time on the couch watching lousy tv, but it will not come close to how much I did it before. Time and energy should be used properly and effectively. At least sometimes. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to go to bed. 

/Lea Binta